We'll build a staircase
from heaven to the ground
when the atheists find god
they will finally pipe down

I'll put them in a prison
cause they met god too late
so everyone can point and jeer
and know that they're not great

The poors can't just be married
it wouldn't just be right
Instead we'll build a coliseum
And make 'em fight
with airsoft guns and power tools
and bricks, and metal tennis rackets
We'll marry off the winners of the men's and women's brackets

My whitecoats in the lab are working on a fancy serum, to induce cannibalism in everyone that's near 'em
we'll mist it from an airplane, on LA, New York, and Austin.
And, also, to express my thoughts on Cheers, we'll cover Boston.
Now, in this gravy, every vegan I will smother
And then those vegetarians will have to eat each other

Everyone must work, if you don't work you're set on fire. Unless your net worth's seven-hundred-fifty-K or higher, in which case I will equip you with a flame-retardant suit, so when the unemployment Firebats arrive, you're lookin' cute.

(I say) pharmacists can turn down customers for any reason; if you go above their head, and see their manager, that's treason.

I like
old-fashioned values
I got
old-fashioned feels
Swimmin' holes
and Ribbon poles
(and) Bicycles with one big wheel

So, if your local rep is lacking
don't fix it on your own
vote for me
your falderal bald alderman

Tawillicker
Jones

With all due respect to my opponent Mr. Jones
I could not hear you over piles of unpaid student loans
Every single dam is leaking, every highway has a hole
Millenials and Baby Boomers fight but still share a home

My platform offers progress, we're joining hand in hand
violence in any form or fashion will be banned

Pronouns from now on will be just Zim and Zer and Zoob
And 30 years in Rikers for calling anyone a dude

No one has to work, from now on our currency will be,
Starlight wrapped in the dreams mined in virtual reality


We'll strip away the wealth and laugh as they try to pump gas
Most popular new show now that all violence is banned


We're taking God off of the money, out of school and out of church
We'll tax them all, and they won't fall, but at least now they’ll know it hurts

Guns will go away because we'll say it makes you gay
Until the gays have all the guns and melt down on Boxing Day

Everyone must love everyone else or else we'll hate you
And that love it must be questioned or else is it really equal?

Everything will be more fabulous with me my dear
A vote for me testimony, a victory against more fear