MC Horse Rides Again!

by The Grammar Club

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This album is distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License. You have permission to play this album on your podcast or radio program. You may freely use this album in your non-profit multimedia project, so long as you credit The Grammar Club.


released December 25, 2010

MC Horse Rides Again! was produced by Shael Riley, Beefy, Ailsean, Mustin, Jon Titterington, C64, Adam "Adam!" Ruttan, Ricky Henry, Ty Guenley, and several varieties of Dan Wilkes. Our production budget was zero dollars

Album art and layout by Ricky Henry

Mastered by Ty Guenley




The Grammar Club New York, New York

Above art by Hex (

Album art by Ricky Henry and Joe Dunn

Additional site art by Art League Houston

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Track Name: Suck My Wallet
I’m an American man in an American world
with an American mouth. As an American, my purview
is to fuck everyone who I want. Everyone in the world.

Mr. Electric Car, who do you think this is?
Mr. Look-How-Much-Gas-I-Can-Save-When-I-Drive-to-the-Store.
Fuck you. I don’t know, cause I make it a point not to know.

Hot Topic where I buy my clothes.
Hot Topic where I ply my ho’s.

Rock and roll ain’t got no soul.
Just a dick and a wallet,
and you can suck my wallet.

First of all, lets all give a Fuck You
To motherfuckers doing better than you
Yo, fuck that, scrap that, on to the next shit
Hit that. Quit that. Leave with a limp dick
Fellate me while I eat this expensive ham
She's cute, she's sweet, but don't shake her hand
Cause you'll be gripping my seed, yo
Shit's not greed, I just take what I need - just
Bob your head, and clap those hands
Don't like this shit? Bitch, fuck you, man!
Shit's all class like they're three piece suits
While you've been known to blow harder than coke addicted prostitutes
Grammar Club's took that fucked up route
I don't even fucking know what I'm rapping about
I wanna write this song, yo, but I'd rather fuck your mother

I hear your bank’s going under the weather. Today’s a capital shame.
Big daddy gonna buy you a bailout. Gonna keep whatever the same.
Baby, look how well lipstick adheres to the face of this pig.

Hot Topic where I buy my clothes.
Hot Topic where I ply my ho’s.
Rock and roll ain’t got no soul.
Just a dick and a wallet.

And you can suck my wallet.

I got boats and hoes. Got nice stocks and clothes
My weight in mistakes, you can pay for those
Corporate account, gotta save the receipt
Why live with defeat when there's lies and deceit?
...Rock a power suit
Get sky high, stay safe, golden parachute
Get in, get out, stay sharp, no witness
Don't play around, this is serious business
Shake my hand while I steal your retirement
Didn't say one word when the fire hit
Just lamp on a beach till it blows over
You can't see these horns through my comb over
Got pills for my impotency
For the idiocy, and my vitamin b
Shine up the cuff-links and I straighten the tie
So pleased to meet you, and already I lie

Yo, I got a paycheck. I’ma spend it. On what?
Well, I know Hot Topic’s fairly highly recomended.
While Palestine’s phosphorized, burried and nameless
I’m fucking copping black shirts with hilarious phrases

And I'm getting rather stressed out by this dumbass prohibition, yo
Obama laughs about it but I'll carry out my mission
Bandanna 'round my face, I throw a lyrical grenade
When really all I want is just some medical grade

You know that one does not simply walk into mordor,
‘nor the US. I’m sitting, rifle cocked, at the border.
I ain’t a bad man. When they hopped the fence they took the rough route
My country is the best, but you’d better stay the fuck out.

My side is flawless and your side is misguided
Be it a red state or a blue state, we're a country divided
Remember countries we invaded? You remember the war?
Frankly, I don't remember what the fuck we're fighting for

Can I a get “Woo! Woo! Motherfucker, we are the best?”
Where else could you survive on the size of your chest?
Can you stick it in her asshole, in between her breasts.
God bless. God bless. God bless your dick and your wallet.

Bedding centerfolds. Rock they genitals
Then attack ya with an army full of sentinels
Team full of lawyers that search for the loopholes
They got a prescription for cases of scruples
Yeah, so trade your ethics for politics
And spend your nights just trolling for tranny sex
Best believe that nobody gotta see
Bought some stock in Fox so don't fear the TMZ
Black tie, see a woman, tell her I don't think that we've met
You spent a fortune so that hooker keeps a secret
Meet another who just lives off the trust fund
And has no problem fuckin around on her husband
Work the circuit so I'm getting around
They fall in love with the sound, I'm fuckin owning this town
Beef Thompson might as well be ten feet tall
With a five foot dick and two eight pound balls
Track Name: Breaking Up with Bret
Sixteen missed calls. Bret is hiding underneath his desk,
wondering if he still has a job, and should he start a new life as
a Buddhist monk.

Heather treated Bret so mean. The ghost inside the
answering machine is threatening to make him try
to fuck her.

You don't wanna do that...but yeah you do
You know that she's a crazy bitch, so dude what are ya trying to prove?
I can tell you should wanna jet, don’t really wanna make her wet
Consider making it easier...

Breaking up with Bret.
And he don’t know
what’s good for him.

And that’s exactly what she counts on.

And he don’t know
what’s good for him.

And that’s exactly why she’s breaking up with Bret.

Afraid to go downtown. Sees her face in every coffee shop around the corner.
Hides behind a car. It’s solid snake.
She kicks his ass. It doesn’t hurt.
Your knight in shining skull T-shirt is here. She tells him
“It’s about damn time he is.” He
dated lovely girls possessed of lovely smells.
They treated him very well.
That made him bored as hell.

For six months off and on he tried to maintain his stance.
The stirring in his pants.
It put him in a trance,
thinking about Heather.

It's that, juicy addiction that has clouded his thoughts
He takes it over to the bar because it makes sense with shots
Staying the fuck buddy of a lady who's too lovely
To describe with mortal words, but every night another t-shirt bloody
With every broken screen, another fantasy
Stabbed with verbal arrows but with damaged thoughts of vanity
Cause he's been happy before, but he has also been bored
Brain has some corruption cause that data never seems to be stored
But he'd remember every way she'd move and shiver
Every time that he would touch her like a lover with his finger
But Bret has to stay strong and stop thinking with his center
Let her call until the Octagon no longer wants to enter

I sent a box containing six white envelopes,
consecutively labeled “do not open until thirty days after the last one.” Each
contained a single later, reminding Bret that if he tried to talk to her her he
couldn’t help but try to fuck her

Boots outside the door. She takes her clothes off where his eyes can see.
Get you harder than a magazine. Rigor mortis like a mausoleum .

Yes. Yes. Less is more, he tries to convince himself.
His self esteem is up and on the shelf.
Can’t get no mental health
sticking it to Heather.
Track Name: Super Girls 'n Ghosts

Girls don’t care what the song’s about. They just want to shake their ass. Shake their ass.
Girl’s don’t care what the song’s about. They just want to shake their ass. Yeah! Yeah!
Ghosts don’t care what the song’s about. They just want to haunt their rooms. Haunt their rooms.
Ghosts don’t care what the song’s about. They just want to haunt their rooms.

Girls don't care about production, they just want the beats
Loop it up, move they ass as the song repeats
Promoters pulling pretty ladies off the streets
And the DJ in the booth will un-fill those seats
Gotta get em on the dance floor, it's going down
Blond in the corner pounding one more round
Gotta build the courage before she starts to shake
Think she knows a single lyric? That's a huge mistake
Even in the dorm room, ignore the words
She don't need to know the meaning, that shit's for nerds
Upset, cause she doesn't have a thing to wear
Songs about apathy, but the girl don't care
She cares about the drums and she loves the bass
And it all sounds better with the pills she takes
Arriving to party like she's Underdog
She hates half the girls, but she loves my song

Proton pack that I wear on my back
Knows right where you're at, so I'm on the attack
To get the little ghosts and the ghouls and the goblins
Older married couple almost passed out when they saw em
Ghosts like to jam when they bump at night
But don't care for melody, there just here for fright
But if we stay out of sight and my plan goes right
We're gonna have three ghosts in the trap tonight
Dead but don't wanna go, nothing on the stethoscope, they just don't wanna leave
Just wanna take it slow, but I say they gotta go, or they have to deal with me
Haunt all ya want till you decompose
You've got chains round your neck, wearing dead man's clothes
So have all your fun in that old saloon
Cause you'll all leave soon when this man goes boo

But what when they cross? Gotta a girl that's a corpse
And she haunts on the floor, ass shakes with a force
A specter of white, she's a beauty believe
And she says Beefy-T is her favorite MC
So what am I like suppose to do?
Rather taboo, she's a beautiful ghoul
In it too deep, everything could go wrong
But before I can speak, I'm the king of ghost prom
These girls got down but they never got up
But still wanna dance when the casket shut
Stumbled on a world and it shouldn't exist
Wrong kind of goosebumps when she gives me a kiss
Here in this place and I don't belong
Makes me think that I might have been a corpse all along
Seems to make sense but I might just be wrong
Because these ghost girls still don't give a damn bout the song
Track Name: Dance, You Fuckers
Mad sex appeal, but it ain't doing nothing
Turn to a badass, bloop, hit the button
Tried to be friends, but those dickholes be fronting
Hang with your lady cause she always up to something

Whispers "Beef, I be ready to go"
Head right down to the liquor store
Just go fast cause I can't do slow
Don't worry cause I don't love no more
Race all day but the gears they rust
Pretty little smile with a face you trust
Resurrect like it's From The Dust
Sit on my face? Baby that's a must

I can't believe it, but I think I'm stealing your girlfriend
They way I come and make ya move you swear that I was a whirlwind
But I promise, just a pastor with a message of hope
Your messiah, syronarra, taking shots with the Pope
Scientists and metalists don't believe that I exist
Chupacabbra, but no cabbra, just replace it with tits
Like a teacher with no lesson. PhD is in bliss
I'm in your basement with your bong, I'm taking really big rips

But I was here from the start, better than you all
Was hated when I said it, but no one was yelling False
Thought that we should bring it back, you can reminisce
And if you didn't like the first one you can suck on our dicks
so don't Play with it baby, yo just put it to work
Call rapper, call me Beefy, or just call me a jerk
Yeah ya know me from tw3rp. Maybe know me from the webternets
I'm rocking for the tattooed hotty playing with your starter decks

There is no fun to be had
All the pain and mistakes won't go away
No thought, I'm just taking a drag
But the girl round the corner always knows just what to say
And maybe I'm wrong
Or maybe I'm the rightest motherfucker you haven't paid attention to in far too long
But it ain't so bad
When ya send yourself to heaven on a yeah yeah yeah!!

Cool storm, I ride the lightning like Raiden
Sadly still I just have one language to write in
Poseidon is drowning me. I struggle to speak
May the wicked be punished, earth goes to the meek

So chic, I flutter to a finish like a monarch
Seconds if ya need it to discover just who I are
Or who I isn't, microphonin' is a business
I'm not in it for the money, I'm just in it for the bitches

A long time yo I've only known victory
Haters be so sick of me, giving me no dignity
Pacing and so jittery, stickin me with some bigotry
Rocking some ring glittery, angry and contradictory
They dissin' me! They must not know I'm known to fire back
Hit ya with a heart attack and you ain't even 40 yet
Silicon domes, get along little doggies
I'm looking for nice hotties who wanna know somebodies
Pay off the bad bobbies, in jail for narcotties
Then hack you bank accounts with my buddy from the Rockies
Try to stop me. Pretend like you could
But I'll just smack your little bottom like your parents probably should

But I was here from the start, better than you all
Was hated when I said it, but no one was yelling False
Thought that we should bring it back, you can reminisce
And if you didn't like the first one you can suck on our dicks
so don't Play with it baby, yo just put it to work
Call rapper, call me Beefy, or just call me a jerk
Yeah ya know me from tw3rp. Maybe know me from the webternets
I'm rocking for the tattooed hotties playing with your starter decks
Track Name: Normal
Click, click; lockstep robot a robot is a what I am.
A lockstep robot is a....
Click, click; lockstep robot a robot is a what I am.
A lockstep robot is a....

Fully manufactured personality
Same words just babbling, how long has this been happening?
I...could never been the same as you
I am far from a conformist and I like the things I do
If you don't, well that's cool, I'm not doing it for you
See I'm doing this for me, but you're allowed to disagree
That's the beauty of the system, everyone has the ability
To be a little snowflake, everybody individually
But you, you'd rather scrape at the bottom of the bucket
You can tell the trend setters and their cronnies they can suck it
And anybody who don't like me well I tell em that I love it
Cause I've got me silly rhymes than that homie from Nantucket
...But you can be a carbon copy
Another stressed out little version of your mommy
And your sister and your dad, purging everything that's bad
Super shining smile with two eyes that are so sad

I want to be normal. Redundantly normal.
I want to do everything like it’s been done twice before.
No need to feel special. No need to be different.
Don’t want to do anything like it’s not done anymore.

You talk about a life, but you ain't living it
You're just a major liar and an idiot
You refuse to be yourself
You just suck and sap from everybody until there's nothing left
Then produce another woe is me
Ya say your heavy medicated and your living with the enemy
But nobody can trust you, you refuse to stand up
For yourself, for your friends, and it's fedding us up

Feel I’ve been Ctrl+Alt+Deleted
Banished from this culture just because I don’t believe it
You’d rather just do as expected
But I steady wrecked it, so I don’t get infected
So I guess I gotta do for mine
Maybe lace this rhyme with a piece of mind
And a scrape of heart, leading through the dark
While you’re walking through your life with a question mark
What should you do? What should you say?
Sorry baby, but I’m not a shrink today
But in times of need, you can take my hand
Be and individual, I’ll help you understand
They want your cash and to keep you down
And keep those bad feelings around
Been programmed to do as your told
But I broke that mold at three years old
Track Name: A Team by Myself
I’m so huge. As big as two people.
Feel so used. I might have to make my own team.

I want to be all alone. I don’t need anyone else
because I’m so fucking big, I’m like the lord of the elves.
I want to be all alone, here in my own little hell
because I’m so fucking big I fill a team by myself.

I get the feeling that ya think I might be sensitive
To my gigantic features, you should know it's all just relative, cause - I
Get to living, if I die, it's different
If my - time is coming, then I'll - fight the system, alright
The way these sips.. slip right through both my lips
Makes me bigger than Godzilla and Joan Holloway's tits, so you can
Join the roster, but you'll stay on the shelf
Beefy is so fuckin big, he is a team by himself

And this is dedicated to those people that I've hated
My image been defaced and all my skills have been debated
Concentrated on my work, sacrificed my own existence
I know about the game, but I don't care about my fitness
I might as well be the entire Grammar Club
Spill over into Dual Core, In Wu-Tang I would be enough
Assistance is appreciated, but it's not required
Feel free to retire, my solo is so desired
Boosh baby! Maybe you should come around another time
Eleventy against Beefy, you know that I'll be quite alright
Don't make me tell you again, I don't require a friend
So please see yourself out, don't let the door hit your end
Problem with my thyroid, naw I think that it's a gift
Tummy tuck me if ya wanna but I'm known to make it rip
Heed the words I speak, and no, I don't overlook
The irony in the fact that I'm not the one on the hook
Track Name: Unemployment
The worst they could do here if fire me.
That wouldn’t be so bad.
I left all my unproductive days behind me. Whoa!
Unemployment is the best job I ever had.

I'm feeling blessed on this fine shiny day
Living a life that my government pays
Got onto the wrong path, jumped in the life raft
On my way to shore and yo I'm having me a blast
Big brother keeping tabs like he on watch
Checking in on Sunday mornings, hope ya don't get caught
Cause I, took a little bit of me time
Should I fight or survive, man I cannot decide
Feeling so fine, so I choose me the future
And the girl that's back my back and a good sense of humor
I don't wanna shuffle like the ones that have before
Hit my head against the wall, don't know if I can reform
New administration said to give me more time
Work your noggin if ya wanna or get back to the grind
Meanwhile, we'll do our best to re-access the deficit
Working hard for you because we know you don't have benefits
Anymore, won't ignore, spend time with a centerfold
Delivery for Beefy, stack of money buddy, here ya go
Now go do what you do best and please don't make us regret
The fact that each and every week our system spits out a check
So I guess I gotta represent for country
Cause they were throwing dollars back when nobody would love me
It's a little funny knowing tea party hates me
Spending hours on some signs, while I'm spending at Macy's
I ain't got no time, to super hella blunted
Cause my last album was a little Obama funded
And I gotta lot of guilt built up, about my situation
Knowing I'd be homeless if the idiots vote Sarah Palin

Tell all my friends that I got to leave them.
Tell them I said I’m sorry.
Heading upstate now to get some freedom.
What are we working for anyway?

Ain't you that Beefy from Wired? Well guess what buddy your fired
Log off your compy, come with me, security is required
We never trusted you, so what makes you think that we'll start now
We've been watching you for weeks and writing it all down
And instead of checking in on our investment
Rather kick you too the curb owning a lifetime of resentment
Before you hit the bar, please go talk to H&R
Sign a paper saying you know we don't want you anymore
How you feeling? I'm just kidding man. I do this everyday
Every leader has been fired. What's the thing that Clooney say?
Have yourself a nicer weekend, hope you have a pleasant life
Hope the fact that you got fired doesn't angerfiy the wife
Picking up a knife -- won't alleviate the payments
But I'll feel better if my Expedition puts him in the pavement
Check the bank statement, it's Schaffer's favorite color
I wanna hunt you down and find you and murder your little brother --but..

I think everything's gonna be just fine
Maybe I can focus on the rhyme if I have time
And after one month of feeling life's a disaster
I got that big lump sum, so that I feel like the master
Outlook sunny with a chance of success
Attendance used to be atrocious now who's acing the test?
I got my swagger back, now I love my style
You can try to tear me down, but you can't break this smile
Blight on society? Maybe I guess
But they don't pay their taxes either, don't know what their against
But I digress, don't wanna obsess
I'd rather focus on the girly who is getting undressed
And we can sex all the doubt away
I mean what better way to spend a Saturday
I got laws here to circumvent. Thank you mister President
Tuesday rolls around, I got my check, gonna represent
Track Name: Stop Plate Tectonics
Five to six years, I read. Five years to get your ass in check
before you leave your keys in the mailbox and you drive away.
While heaven’s gone, the bank made god your predatory lone shark,
selling all the babies little pieces of USA.

I’m drinking milk and I’m lifting weights to make my heart like tectonic plates.
If Satan finds me, I hope he’ll pay no mind to me.
Forgoing handshakes for balling fists
in the upcoming tectonic shift. Oh heaven help me, you know she’ll
be so kind to me

Be so kind to me
Be so kind to me

An old, conservative white-wash was all the change we needed.
I’m a stock portfolio on Styrofoam paper plates.
Gradually, all will learn to be Ronald McDonald Ronald Reagan.
Exercise your right to vote for your right to vote for four more years in this state.

Feel the ground shakin’, it’s violent and earthquakin’
If you listen closly you can hear the sounds of hearts breaking
Mob bosses working at the bank and from my line
I can only get an APR that hits the skyline
Lost the deposit when human nature returns
Cutting stars into my sideburns, yo, when will he learn?
When will you be with me? I’ll cover the rent
And I will never ever tell ya when I do not have a cent

I’m learning metric and saying grace
doing karate and saving face
converting dollars into
foreign currency

My mother’s ceiling. My father’s floor.
My uncle’s Commodore 64. Oh!
Heaven help me. You know she’ll
be so kind to me.

Full moon sets the stage, got a bowl full of Fruit Loops
I plug into the universe and show off all my moves
No more can ya learn, you’re long in the tooth
And please don’t pull out and shoot because I told ya the truth
May not be simple baby but it get easier
When the things that you see in her don’t make her superior
(Hell no!)
Can’t change that she’s sharing a breath
But you can rip apart the plates until nobody is left

Be so kind to me.
Track Name: Crashing Cars and Awarding Stars
Crashing cars. Awarding stars.
You took the test and then you passed it
straight into a casket. Cars

Can go so far. You hit the bar
and then surpassed it.
Crashing car. Awarding stars.

Crashing cars, awarding stars
We are hardly scarred cause the cars are hard
Only thin drivers, we bar Babar
But I will leave a car burning like Charizard
It's party time, we don't got no Heinekens at all
We just got a bunch of cars, gonna drive em into walls
Ungh, I'm a horse bitch, giant are my balls
While you're a shook pussy hella hiding in the stall
Come on out, strap yourself in
We're bout to crash these cars and crash em again
Just wreck rides as fast as you can
It's a car crash race and the first to ten wins
Get a speed high then crash like you're a user
If you think it's a hard drive, crash like a computer
That was a dope crash! Who was in the car?
Oh, it was you? Well then you will get a star

Barnyard flowing, check out Beefy with his horses
About to smash his Taurus with dense kinetic forces
Check out all your sources and study for your courses
Before ya find yourself with a bad a case of rigor mortise
My stars are always showing cause I'm never ever boring
Pour while I'm recording, but I’m sober in the morning
Wrapped around a flagpole, thinking I'm an asshole
Ya see the stars because of what I put inside the punch bowl
Now your faded and your jaded bout my skills on the track
Poor and dumb enough to know that I ain't talking bout rap
I go a thousand-miles-an-hour and I only turn left
By 500th lap, you will give me respect
And when I smash and I crash then you all yell Wooo!
Got a shell in the chamber and it's just called Blue
Come from behind that's just how I do
Long talk with your girl, she'll like, "yeah, that’s true"

Don't be a pussy, get up the nerve
I mean, accidents happen, you're just ahead of the curve
My brother it's the same lesson that Edison learned
If you don't try new things then you will never get birds
Full throttle, pedal to the metal
With a crash so loud it'd leave an elephant disheveled
That's irrelevant though, and yo, hella you go
Into hell, now there ain't room in hell anymo
Gun it, you're good from here hood, spin the Goodyear
Leave pigs wondering "why is there a hood here?"
Chug a good beer and kill yourself
In your vehicle, from San Fran to Philadelphia
Use a Ford, Chevy or a Kia
Do it for the fame and the fly senoritas
Do it for the divas, do the cheeba cheeba
Cause so many accidents, Obama's calling FEMA

Just crash your car. You’re a star. You’re a winner, baby.
Crash crash the car. Crash it into a wall.
Just crash your car. Get a start. You’re a sinner, baby.

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