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by The Grammar Club

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probablyzach thumbnail
probablyzach Honestly, I love everything the Grammar Club does, and Shael and Beefy as individuals, but you throw in a perfect Jesse Dangerously verse and damn does this just make for an excellent song. Favorite track: Phonin' it in.
Hoggrim thumbnail
Hoggrim Lust-inducing indeed, Beef. (those lucky bitches...) Favorite track: Sex Person.
Jay-Radd thumbnail
Jay-Radd AMAZING. The Peanut Butter and Jelly style of Beefy's rapid-fire lyrical excellence and Shael Riley's...uh...Shael-Rileyness makes for a staggeringly fun album. Best of all are the surprise Guest Appearances by fellow indie/nerdcore savants such as MC Frontalot, Kabuto The Python, Jesse Dangerously, Wordburglar, Adam WarRock, and Wheelie Cyberman. Favorite track: Sex Person.
Helmishgen thumbnail
Helmishgen So much talent on this album. Love these guys. Favorite track: Last Good Day.
modem thumbnail
modem I too wish I were a real good sex person. Favorite track: Sex Person.
Garrett Culver
Garrett Culver thumbnail
Garrett Culver The Grammar Club blends pop with nerdcore in the most catchy-damn-way possible. Favorite track: Sex Person.
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I took cutie for a ride in my death cab, scratch that Sorry man. That was handled by another indie band Then they blew up and reality shift When you talked about success, did you really talk about this? Did you even know this plane exists? I don't think you can handle this I grew up in a story book that I could write City hotter than Tabasco on some dynamite Do anything to hear my momma say that she was proud 20 years later felt like I could run entire towns I was put on Earth so I could entertain the masses So for me it was easy justifying skipping some classes And I never no freakin' stinkin' badges Reality is broken and that’s without a doubt A disconnect between what you put in and you get out Bitterly, divided we, press on and on and on I brought my plastic ball so that you all can sing along (The) world will only distract me from my great work that’s why I built this plastic submarine you’re sharper than anyone put your sleeping pills away and your good ideas will tuck you in at night When I created in a vacuum I was so fresh So clean, I sparkled any track that I blessed People drove for miles yo just to say they saw me I never thought all this could happen from a hobby, kid And did it go to my head? Of course it did. My favorite band broke up and I still can't get over it Because they helped me get over, there's still so much I owe Now when I leave for town there's only 20 peeps at the show And that's a get. How did it come to this? Liberty and justice are trivial pursuits My game is entertainment, and I’m seeking new recruits. So, Why don’t you do what you want to do, while you still can? We all plastic suits so that you can’t tell who’s a man! [chorus] Power corrupts you But we don’t know about that. I heard you were voodoo Now we’ve come to collect your ass. you might have littered the landscape with dishonest promises released under the ocean on your own reconnaissance anonymous, covered up in hardened up petroleum laying lowly when the sonar pings. the ball is rolling then to anywhere, independent oxygen the onboard cabinet resplendent with intoxicant the talk you meant to share is echo from the hull and the clicking of the instruments resurges every lull every bowl every glass every bubble every breath descend until you're out of ocean, nothing left should've guessed your contraption was gonna need winding staring out the window into darkness like you need reminding designed for finding distraction from the vastness of the surface world and its open-air harassments rotate the gas vents, fish flow in you've been working on it too long, let it begin Hi! Thirty thousand leagues of solitude, amplitude pumped up to eleven, find my latitude and longitude my first love is my distraction and my inspiration submarine here to facilitate our domination it doesn't matter if I'm rocking an entire fleet if I can only average like a single lyric every week that's super weak hat, and you don't deserve that track be like Jon Jones, catch an elbow and I'm on the mat forever how it feels like, maybe I'll be alright watch my muse get all amused, I try to get the flow right pull another all night like getting your degree this my thesis and it's just about as worthless as can be how my heroes ever do it? and why can't I do the same? it's like I'm lacking crucial elements and system in my brain But coordinates are locked. telescoping to the top we sunk another battleship while Isaac tops me off, what? and we dive dive and we dive dive
Buto bumpin' Weezy and Yeezy up in the ocho, like Fiddy said I'm finna put the game in a chokehold Yo, I'ma Chris Nolan it, never be in-phoning it And owing to my focus I'm dope and the shit Coping with the dopes and the dips Whole flow is a bit cocoanuts Oh, ayo, I'm so, so cold but a bit over it Listen, you're fucking wack. That's right, you suck at rap So I ain't up for daps or a bucket of hugs, blaggard You fucks are getting gutted and stuffed with a cut cabbage I'ma serve it to your crew up on Stickam, fool Or slap a turkey-ass rapper back to Istanbul (swag) Yeah, I don't fuck with a weak scheme It's why I'll even leave and peep and creep on your street team And geeks fiend for every free Buto release Seems the beats'll keep 'em licking it up...like Khajiits preen Fuck nerdcore, I'ma kick it in the dick, bruh This is for my hip-hop cat, his name was Tikvah Cause you've been phonin' it in, boy you phony baloney is as does, why don't you buy me a pony? With you talk about your power and your money and fame "Yeah I'm back. Yeah I'm back" It's a goddamn shame Yeah I'm back. Yeah. Back phonin' it in So many quarters that I hold in my sack I'm phoning all my homies, sadly they ain't calling me back I'm in the DangerRoom to level my stats And I don't never ever slack when it comes to these tracks And don't ask about the last Jack Stumbled like an asshat Your punchlines are a joke, like your rhymes should have a laugh track Don't have to tell me 'bout your mountain of swag, and Save your city, I don't care where you're at, man But when you rap like this- cause you wrote it On a paper in your basement save amazement when I say to yoke it It's like you get too deep and try to sneak another weak cliche Like your fans won't make a peep, and ya creep Like sneaking candy in your pockets out the drug store You're not a legend in this game, not like rap has got a Rushmore Once more, it's like you are the king of the worst And if we're both nerdcore, I hope they hear me first I click game above the waist, I get my face in outer space I'm on pace to save the human race No need for thanks, I'm saying peace Cause you've been phonin' it in, boy you phony baloney. Is as was. Why won't you leave me alone, yeah? All your talk about your power and your money and fame. Nothing bad that you had drove you insane. Yeah I'm back. Yeah. Back phonin' it in. Try harder - otherwise, honestly, why bother? My zygotic efforts all like "why I oughta" My psychotic episodes, highs and pathetic lows Ready, steady, wait a minute, no - let it go I feel pitiful, my cipher is hypercritical My political stance comes out in rants but I can't fit it all Into the origami of a cogent thought... They think it's all behind me but I hope it's not... I need the service of a RoboCop rebuilder Grow-Op weed killers, my photoshop needs filters I'd be iller if I could call in work to sick Stall this circus with flawless perfectness Wait, no... perfectionism is the curse That has me living in reverse and imprisoned in the earth Getting burned by art, poems and hard luck sucks My smartphone's charged up... here we go
Sex Person 04:27
I make it hot like a Mega Man fire stage. Ho. Like a Mega Man fire state. Ho-hot I met you at a bar last night, you were partying Made a move, I'm a champ, booze on your cardigan Stay smooth, hey baby let me start again Looks like you could use another cosmopolitan You're a room with all the amenities You a spy sapping more than my sentries By the way that I thrust and shake In the bedroom I could give a little more than you can take, so I Get you home before ya fade to black Damn love, where your panties at? I'm not one to take advantage but you're begging for the D But it's hard to get excited when you're about to fall asleep So I pack it up and move on to another Reconsider leaving you with my brother Needing to ball, see a name on the stall And I ring-a-ding a booty call I just want to give sex to you in a way that you will enjoy You want to have sex, with a girl or a boy You fell in lust with me You fell in lust with me Beautiful agony Beautiful agony Sex on me, baby, any day or night You wanna get sexed, and I’m doing it right. I am a real good sex person real good sex person real good sex person real good sex person real good sex person I know my body is lust inducing I know almost everything that I'm doing I know positions and such Not trying to be cheeky but I like your butt Leave your friends baby let's get HIGH I don't know about you, I'm gonna get MINE Matching out signs, it's by design Seen you all night girl and it's about damn time Kiss your neck baby get you revved Trail of our clothes leading straight to the bed It's dark in here, you can't trust your eyes And I've been told before it's a very good size No going back, you're in my world Bravo honey, you make love like an ugly girl Beautiful just draped in moonlight You're on the pill, right? Hey girl, have you read your email lately? Cause I got a thing for female ladies And you fit the bill like a duck costume I wanna take Stuff off you Always down to get Romantical We can take our time so tantrical Animal swerving the verse Nurse your curves while I Burgle your purse Oh…Jiminy cricket What do I do with these Fidgety digits You got a place for them to hide? As I keep in touch with your feminine side mmm yeah that’ll do nicely Acronym for Coors Light Ice T Spicy and smooth as moon mist oooh let’s come again soon miss Gonna meet her downtown by a streetlight She's a ten and I'm going six to midnight What's not to like? She like just my type Let me buy you things that's overpriced Off work and I just got paid Been complaining all week 'bout how I can't get laid Out of my cave. Hold game, quick save You don't know it but you just won the jackpot babe I'm just here to give you sex Body hurts and you don't get no rest New positions that we learn, treat ya just like the interns Sorry for the rugburns, yo yo I'm just here to give you sex Body hurts and you don't get no rest New positions that we learn, treat ya just like the interns Sorry for the rugburns. Word.
Get Laid 03:47
I never get laid. Hey hey hey hey. I never get laid. Hey hey hey hey. I never get laid. Hey hey hey hey. I never get laid. I never get laid. I never get laid. Man I get laid all the time, I got some strange on the side Kinda scary for a lady not to give me a ride Except it's all just a lie I tell for confidence boost But you cannot sell a hoopty if you're telling the truth And that's the truth, boiy, know what I'm saying? Dude like me not getting lovin''less a dude like me's paying I got game, but just the kind with dice and pegs I just wanna tell some secrets in between your legs I'm sorry grandma if you're listening, I'll try a little harder Know that I could be a player if I were just a little smarter Maybe trick you into thinking that I'm Ethan Suplee Or I am Keanu Reeves with a really bad bee sting I'm fluffy, wanna give you my stuffing With a putnam that's so precious baby you gotta love me I'm a dapper little rapper and you know that I'm paid But it never seems to matter cause this rapper yo I never get. I never get laid Hey hey hey hey. (Come swap some DNA with me Insert tab D into slot P) Now I've got an SO, I said baby let's roll I got some candles and some music and the lights are real low But she just said no, cause what I said not long ago And now she's mad and I feel like my jeans are about to explode Oh No! How did this happen? I was under the impression ladies love them some rappin And the dancing and clapping, and she knows that I'm handsome So what if I said her sister looks like Scarlett Johansson? Looks like it's just practice again Who needs a woman when I have a little harem of 10? And I know everything I want, and I know everything I like I just sit on it till it's numb and call it stranger's delight I'm psyched! ...now I'm depressed Shame and the sadness and a hot little mess So just lemme get dressed and we can hit the arcade And then commiserate together how we never get, ever get... [guitar solo] I make myself feel glamorous Altogether fabulous, avoid the disastrous Tracks get scandalous, I hope you're not mad at us Can't sac Troy when the Trojans can't handle us Don't pout, get silly Reboot, get gritty then invade your city For a hot young filly with a name like Pracilly Who wants flapjacks, not wack, call Billy I never get laid. Hey hey hey hey. (Three-year-old condoms on my shelf might to handle it myself) I never get laid. Hey hey hey hey. (D’know how to do it; have to ask. Forget which hole performs what task.)
Your hand always feels so good in mine Well dilly-dally no way baby, hey, we're losing time Bombs and bullets are just part of the scenes And at the end your time is written like you've got a disease So let's Split before you're ending up in a freezer They put you on the cover till they don't really need ya The hype gets out there and the book gets sold But then they push ya stage left before your story gets told. Move, move, slide to the left, move, move, slide to the right, drink, drink, bottle of, red, drink, drink, bottle of white I'm not crazy, maybe I have a dream No you're not the victim baby, I need you save me Let's make it the last scene, move on to the big screen Know we're way too freaking indie to ever go mainstream You're the love of my life, hope you dig that Say you gotta lotta luggage, we can lift that In no time they'll be wanting us dead Or I swear they'll have ya wearing little more than a tread Move, move, slide to the left, move, move, slide to the right, drink, drink bottle of, dark, drink, drink bottle of light What’s the worst thing that could happen if we were to bust out of these four fine walls? Creeping tempers flare we’ll find our answers there beyond these four fine walls sure can bring it on She walks down the darkest alleys She got her bag clutched close to her breast She takes her keys, hands shaking badly Chest, tight like hallways, ain't that always The way I see a damsel in distress Princess not in this one but the next And we wait, as we watch with some bated breath For a caped crusader to save her from death Cuz all I'm seeing is repetitive penmanship That's steady lacking in ettiquette to feminist aesthetic , it's Strictly irrelevant, a tree house no more With a no girls allowed sign hung on the front door And she's surrounded by walls closing in She's feeling trapped, forced into the poses Outfits that cut off her circulation, toes And fingers into fists as she breaks through the fourth wall Like John Cusack at his finest We can leave these walls behind us Skip the panels then get off of the page Were not the first to do it baby, just check out my boy Wade And screw what the fans say, they made it go this way Jason paid with a Joker wielded crowbar to the brain Start to feel like all our issues and our days are numbered But I promise we can find a new world that we can discover I'm on a brand new crusade Out to prove there's more to life than the number ya get paid The number of stock sold, you can't keep it on the shelf You can bring entire armies, I can do this by myself, uh huh You're my Wonder Woman and my Power Girl If I had my druthers I would tell entire worlds But first we gotta move away from this curse Everyday we live with danger so how could it get worse? Huh?
Girl, I know you've been so good. I know you're probably thinking That you don't need me anymore But when I look into you eyes My stare can pierce your body below your stitching I know you're itching I want you twitching If you need somebody who can study you can study with me I'll get you bloody teach you all about your biolo--baby! It's OK. Ooh. You get so nervous. Get so nervous What you nervous about You work it work it 'til you feel like it's about to go baby Birdie I feel like someone else I could be your teacher and one thing's certain I've got the learning for your yearning Ooh. You shiver and you shake. I ike the way your body is honest with me and copiously, you've soaked your panties OOooooo baby girl, howdy there Can I stare? I don't think we've met Peerless and I'm fearless, rarely beerless But ya know I will not make you fret Make you sweat, get you set On your mark? Then it's best to go But I got some scars like Hush, and I need you to push Till you feel like you're about to blow I'll be your slutty study buddy, with a slide rule and a strap And if you need me then I'll be there with a ScanTron for dat ass I'll make you laugh, make you cry, make you want to say good bye But don't worry about me, at a quarter past three, I'll be up on my feet, moving on with my life
Stick a for in my, mamma, I'm done. That was the last good day on Earth when I lived there. Now it's all become a war because of you. Leaving is picture perfect. And look how we've seen it through. I wear my heart on my sleeve. chip on my shoulder. It gets a bit heavier as I grow older Revolutionizing industry, we got on the teat Writing checks for you to cash, and never save the receipt Queuing up to the buffet with a couple of plates Then one day they say they ran out, I say they made a mistake I cut my losses, hold my profits then move on to the next Because I had you when you're pretty and I have no regrets I gotta blast off, gotta take off till I'm free in the clear Keep em distracted with some actions, got stir up the fear And then move in with a redhead with a world of potential A down payment what I'm making. You were only a rental Don't get mental, sometimes sacrifices have to be made And let's be honest man, who really wants to stay in this place? So all your lovers they can love you till you're dead and you're gone And so long. Thanks for all of the fish. Au Revoir Hey Beefy I see we gotta write it out like graffiti. Gotta make it obvious, OK? No debating the deeper meaning. I want, I take, I get, then use it up. Swallow it whole, don't chew it up. Devour, diminish, demolish, I'm not finished. Then it's set 'em up, knock 'em down. Feed 'em up, and then bleed 'em out. Chop, chop, chop to divide them, Keep 'em medicated, don't excite them. Follow the light, believe the hype, don't look outside, it's heated now. Call this a myth? Just wait a bit. You'll suffer then, so believe me now. Get up, get up, it's Wheelie C. Everybody knows that I got to eat. I got ego, I got needs. I want to make another mouth to feed. I want a car and a new TV! I want it all, give it to me! Gonna build my legacy with an Octomommy pregnancy. Let's breed. Let's hatch. Let's pop 'em out and then spread 'em 'round. I need a match. We build it up, so let's burn it down. I love you. Your just my type. You're so perfect, you're so fine. I will use you, eat right through you, ruin you, make you mine. [chorus] Was it really better when you were alone? Say you're beautiful before guys like me came along It was plentiful, bountiful, and enjoyable You act like I'm the only one who really made it horrible? Mother Gaia such a martyr, but you burn yourself Can you blame me just because I wanted something else? when I was born you said I'd never have to worry so I didn't, now you act like you're the one that's in a hurry, birdie Breaking no sweat for the truth. Don't want it. Can you put your finger on it?


released March 8, 2013

Music by Shael Riley and Ty Guenley
Produced by Shael Riley and Ty Guenley
Engineered by Ty Guenley

Vocals by Beefy and Shael Riley
Guitar by Ailsean and Ty Guenley




The Grammar Club New York, New York

Above art by Hex (zombiehiphophex.deviantart.com)

Album art by Ricky Henry and Joe Dunn

Additional site art by Art League Houston

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